Ho‘olauna

• hoʻolaunaCaus/sim.; To introduce one person to another; to be friendly.
  • Hoʻo launa ʻana, introduction.
  • Ke hoʻolauna aku nei au i mua o ʻoukou, I introduce myself to you.

Aloha mai kākou, 

Happy day after Mother’s Day! I’ve been lucky to have a lot of interactions with some amazing mamas lately. I also think of ALL of the many amazing mamas I know and am so grateful for the generation(s) being raised now by these amazing women. I also have been reflecting on the mothers that have come before us, and the choices they had, the choices they made, and how that has contributed to who and how we are today. They hold and create spaces for us to grow and evolve, even if those spaces are difficult sometimes. 

I was on Molokai this week again and had the opportunity to witness how incredible it is when folks hold and create safe spaces together. For them, this kind of safe space galvanizes folks to speak up and share what needs are in the community, and also to understand how they can effectively meet those needs, what kinds of small wins they can achieve along the way towards their mutual goals. They are ready to take action. Every detail was planned with care—the baskets, the yummy snacks, beloved comfort foods like delicious baked spaghetti made with aloha, and cheesecake brought in from O‘ahu. This made the space comfortable and nurturing and prepared folks for a deep conversation.

Setting and holding space is one of my favorite things to do. How do you hold space? Here in Hawai‘i we hold a lot of circles, we connect to the past, present and future, we often pray or chant as a way to create safe space, set intentions, bring in the unseen forces that help to guide and support us as we move through our activities and agenda. We start by sharing our names, or sharing our gifts and stories; we introduce ourselves so that we can figure out how we are connected. Like the folks on Molokai, I love to have yummy food, beautiful things to look at, little details that show folks we care about them. Acts of service is definitely my love language. What’s yours?

Aunty Pua similarly was thoughtful about how to curate a space or circle. Everything is designed for folks to have optimal participation—to be safe to be vulnerable and share as deeply as we are able, to be physically comfortable so that doesn’t get in the way of our participation. She also ensured that every voice is able to be equal in the circle by having protocols around time; also, there are no spectators allowed. Here’s part of an email exchange we had in preparation for one of our last in-person circles. 

I have a few questions, and my final map of the day will reflect the additions, changes, etc.

1.  Where will the gathering be held.
2.  Is it big enough to make a circle of chairs?
3.  Is it possible to arrange for child care, so the mothers who are bringing their keiki with them can participate as fully as possible?  Are they breast feeding, so need to break at certain times, that I need to be conscious of and plan for?
4.  Dawn, I am assuming that you will be part of the circle.
7.  Are you providing yummies in the morning, if so, do you want to start a little earlier, so
that people can have some refreshments before we begin?

I set aside 45 minutes for lunch, is this adequate, I’m assuming you are providing lunch; can it be delivered or brought in the morning, so that you or one of the women will have to go pick it up.  I am trying to ensure that the spirit and FOCUS in the circle is not interrupted by having to do errands.  

8.  Supplies needed:  Can you provide a large pad of paper and a variety of colored pens for them to do their maps and a role of masking tape to put their Vision maps up on the wall.

Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns. 

What grand potential can manifest from a simple circle of chairs? What can we see in each other, who can we become together? In the session that followed this email, our first focus was Ho‘olauna.

Later in the session, we wrote our own poem based on the poem “I am Me”. For this group of women in transition who were in the circle, this was a powerful exercise. 

I am me

“My Declaration of Self-esteem”
In all the world,
there is no one else exactly like me –
everything that comes out of me is authentically
mine,
because I alone choose it – I own everything about
me – my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all
my actions,
whether they be to others or to myself – 
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures
and mistakes.  Because I own all of me, I can become
intimately acquainted with me – by so doing I can
love me and be friendly with me in all my parts – 
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle
me
and other aspects that I do not know –  
but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself
I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions
to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about
me – 
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,
and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in
time is authentically me – If later some part of how
I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be
unfitting, I can discard that which I feel is unfitting,
keep the rest, and invent something new for that
which I discarded – 
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of
people and things outside of me – 
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me – 
I am me &

I AM OKAY

by Virginia Satir

The ability to claim “me” and recognize, own, and declare that I am the writer of my own destiny, and I can rewrite storylines that don’t serve me is a powerful point for folks who are in transition or experiencing challenging circumstances. However, it’s good for everyone. Is there any part of your life where you might need this reminder? Where are you reclaiming your personal power? Who is in your circle to witness this and cheer you on?

Today is a full moon full of transformative potential that reminds us of our need to grow, evolve, and learn as souls on this planet.  How has your introduction of yourself changed over time? What are you releasing that no longer serves you? What space are you making for what feels most true and alive? How can your circle support you in the journey? Hope you’re okay today, sending hugs and aloha.

Mahalo,

Dawn