In a tenuous place of being present and wanting to support, but also wanting to give space, in the final year of Aunty Pua’s life we were distant or close planets in orbit. We checked in intermittently, engaged enthusiastically when she wanted to, and gave space for when she was sick or when she was healing. We all did the best we could.
One of the last good runs we had stemmed from Aunty asking about our “core stories.” This reminded me of the ka‘ao framework, which is part of the learnings that come from Aunty Kekuhi Kanaka‘ole and Taupouri Tangarō.
While I sit and witness my writer’s block, here’s an email for you that I sent to our crew in March, 2024. Here you can see how a conversation from Aunty could spark a prompt that would guide our circle. I hope that you take it as a gentle invitation to go as deep as you’d like into the places where your core stories rest. It’s a mix between my mana‘o and what I learned from Aunty Kekuhi, and what Aunty Pua asked us, too. I perhaps made Aunty Pua’s prompt more complex by adding in another framework–but in my mind the ka‘ao framework adds depth. Does it resonate for you the way it did for me?
Aloha Everyone!
I had a lovely long call with Aunty Pua yesterday. We were planning her next cohort! Woah. How awesome!
We were following up on a conversation we had on Monday. In that conversation, she asked: “Is there a seminal event that informed your way of thinking that you held on to? What is your core story?”
Similarly, I’m in another cohort, a hālau, and us guys are going to write a ka‘ao together. A ka‘ao is a traditional tale, often with hidden meaning, that reflects the science, sentiment, and emotion of a time. It has all kinds of characters and is an allegory for our lives. Ka‘ao can be deeply personal, but they are always universal at the same time. There are archetypical characters that play different important roles to catalyze the journey of the main character. The hero. You. Us guys!
We are all main characters in the ka‘ao of our lives. So I wonder…In the ka‘ao of our BTBC cohort, what role does Aunty Pua play for you? What role do each of us play in our tales?
As we get ready to start writing our ka‘ao in my hālau, we were asked: “What’s your hua?” A hua is literally an egg or fruit, but also an impetus, a motivation, a catalyst. This catalyst sets you on the journey(s) of your life. It points the prow of your canoe in a certain direction. And off you go!
Last night, a lot of us talked about homecoming, what it means to be from somewhere, from Hawai‘i, to journey back after living abroad. And what is home? We had so many different thoughts. Many centered around a sense of belonging. I shared with my crew what came to mind:
home is like gently unfurling your spine and feeling yourself as a vertebrae/
part of something completely connected and unbroken past/present/future.So I ask you, what is your hua? What was the seminal event that lead you to your core story?
You may have had several hua in your lives. Is there one you haven’t shared with the group before? Who are you becoming in this ka‘ao of yours? Tell us about your hua, and then share your core story.
(We’ve explored these topics similarly in the past. Are you in the same place now? How is your ka‘ao evolving?)
And I ask you, too, how is your ka‘ao evolving? What are those core stories, seminal events and who are the people that set you on your path? Do you see yourself as part of a continuum, a story living in the moment but also in the past and in the future, too? What is our obligation to right now, to this moment, to our ancestors, to our future selves? In that Aunty Pua sort of way, this question can be a diagnostic. It also can be triggering. This wouldn’t be a story I’d ask a circle who is meeting for the first time. But among a group of colleague-friends, what a powerful and vulnerable thing to lay on the table.
Unfortunately, the next cohort we were planning for Aunty Pua never happened. She and I kept planning every time her health took an upswing. Focusing on work gave her energy, gave her drive to fight. After a while, I realized we probably weren’t going to be able to do it. Indeed, she wasn’t able to attend the circle where we answered this question. But Aunty was a hua for many of us, a catalyst for lifelong journeys of curiosity and circle work that continue on, and on. Today I’m feeling grateful for her, her perseverance and her dedication to asking those curious and deep questions that kept and keep us going.
As I write this, it’s 01/11/(2+0+2+6=) 1. 1111. Numerologically, a time for beginning, to set intention, to trust and allow that what we need will come because we are willing and deserving and ready. Sometimes our core stories are challenging. But to admit this and not get stopped there, to find the semblance of the whole story and see ourselves reflected therein, to reach forward towards our potential and healing, is very powerful indeed!
At the end of the ka‘ao journey, there’s always the return, the reintegration, and the giving back. You can’t be who you were at the beginning of the story. You’ve changed. 1111, new beginning. At this point in your journey, what is integrating for you? Who are you becoming?
Mahalo,
Dawn
Photo taken 1/11/2026 at Mauliola by Kēhaulani Kupihea.